Due to a misunderstanding about some paperwork, I ended up leaving my house way to early for work one day. I was hoping to deal with said paperwork before work, but there was nothing to deal with yet, so all the time I had allotted to deal with German bureaucracy turned into downtime.

So I did what I always do when I have stuff to do, I roamed the cheap crap stores and looked for things that would be interesting.

In Zeeman, I was greeted with a dishcloth that I did not understand.

They had another cloth that followed the current “word vomit as decor” trend, but all I could think of was #blessed.

They also had a tin for coffee that I assume was trying to be cute and vintage-y, but I was a little distracted by the innuendo.

They also had a variety of clothes. You could support your favorite #sportball #team with this sweatshirt.

And ensure that your spawn understands the importance of social media with puns.

I ventured forth to Kik, which had children’s clothes with baffling sayings.

And then you had one girls’ shirt that ventured into creepy territory…

The wording of the adult shirts at Kik weren’t quite as odd, but the typography was bizarre.

The most awkward thing I found though, didn’t have anything to do with English, however. It was an “Engelstasse” or “Angel’s Mug”.

This is the most uncomfortable looking mug I’ve ever seen.

All I can thing when I see this mug is: