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German Barbecue Sauce is Subpar

German Barbecue Sauce is Subpar

Another Lidl America Week has come and gone, and I almost felt like I was becoming desensitized to it, until I saw this new offering.

Barbecue Fish
What?

I first saw the Cheese & Onion fish filets and thought, well that’s a bit odd, but then I saw the Barbecue variety. What are these shenanigans? Maybe it’s a regional thing, but I’ve never seen someone pair a breaded fish filet with barbecue sauce before. But it has the Statue of Liberty on it, so it must be American! (Just like these Peanut Cheetos)

This also has reminded me that I have been unable to find a decent barbecue sauce since moving to Germany. “Decent barbecue sauce” is pretty hard to define, as standards vary regionally, but my personal preference is for the dark, thick, and smokey variety. Well that’s not at all what you find here. Everything is like watery ketchup with spices thrown in. Granted, we’ve avoided the expensive imported stuff, because we’re cheap, but you would think we’d be able to find something German made that works. Even the Heinz version sold here, which I thought would be a bit more “American” is a bit of a letdown.

I was really hopeful that living in the land of delicious pork steaks everywhere, I’d be able to find decent condiments for said delicious pork steaks.  Maybe I just need to learn how to make my own. Is that a complicated process? I honestly have no idea. I don’t really cook at all. Though now that we have a fancy table grill, I should probably look into making fancy barbecue that we can enjoy even in the winter.

I will happily take recommendations from fellow expats for good barbecue sauce – or even a recipe, and I promise that I will not put it on fish. That’s just gross.

Root Beer

Root Beer

I have been inexplicably exhausted lately, so in lieu of a long ramble, here is some patriotic root beer.

image

Here it is not a regular beverage, but more a cultural novelty. Admittedly, root beer is a really weird drink, so I guess it makes sense.

Super American Things – In America!

Super American Things – In America!

I’m back!!! Now that I’m back in Germany, I’m going to attempt to return to my usually posting schedule. A second thanks to Bailey for her guest post which helped to keep my page from going totally dead.

Before I get into really picking apart my trip, I’m going to start with grabbing some pictures I took that highlight just how American America is.

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Fellow Americans or those who have visited America, what is the most American thing you have seen?

Flags Everywhere #13 – Lidl America UPDATE

Flags Everywhere #13 – Lidl America UPDATE

So apparently I took so long posting my experience with the Lidl American foods, that they are already back on sale THIS WEEK. I know, I’m psyched.  Hopefully this does not totally violate copyright law, but I snagged some screenshots from Lidl’s website (the mobile version was more post friendly, but the regular site shows everything, too) so that we can see full offerings. I kind of want to do a thorough review of some of the products and compare them to the actual American version, so if there is something in particular you want to know more about, drop me a comment!

The mobile version had six screens of stuff, so we’ll go through them one-by-one and I’ll share my observations.

Lidl American Food Ad

 

Rosie the Riveter style costumes seem to be the go-to for expressing Americanness, this is not a criticism, I have dressed like that for a costume party before and it’s a solid look. The logistics of the red lipstick and presumably eating a hot dog however…

The wraps were at the last sale, I know that for sure. It looks like they have renamed the “Amerikanos” to “American Style Chicken Strips ” – If my previous post had come out earlier, I would have thought they were reading my blog, but I guess they just are reading my mind. Though again with the curry dip. What American dips their chicken strips in curry dip? Also “Chicken Balls” – I have no further comment on that.

Lidl American Food Ad

We’ve got some more processed chicken products and the American Snack Box (which contains Chili-Cheese-Nuggets, not Chicken Nuggets for some reason), but the things than excite me the most on this page are the Mac’n’Cheese and the Pulled Pork.

Why is the Mac’n’Cheese hiding behind the American Chili? This guy should be front and center! It looks like it’s mean to be like Easy Mac, and I did not realize how much I missed Easy Mac until now. Give the Mac’n’Cheese it’s own page! That’s what this American really wants!

Lidl American Food Ad

I do not understand or like the hot dogs in a glass jar. I don’t know why, but it looks gross and strange to me. A warning to fellow Americans in Germany, the hot dog and hamburger buns will probably come uncut, so hopefully you have something better than a butter knife on you at your barbecue. Seriously, why are the buns never pre-cut? I also don’t actually know what is in the American Sandwich or Hamburger Sauces, so I’m doubting the Americanness of the products.

I forgot to pick up bagels the last time, so I’m glad I have another chance. Do you know how hard it is to find bagels in Germany?! We also have a return of the totally American, original Canadian syrup. I’m still confused by that one. Can’t you find American maple syrup in New England or something? Top those American pancakes with something American, you communists!

Lidl American Food Ad

They sell “gezuckert” or sugared microwave popcorn, which is not like kettle corn, and therefore not American, Lidl. Crazy Germans sprinkling sugar on their popcorn. The bucket should be like kettle corn, though, because it is “caramelized.” Then we have those peanut cheetos that no one in America eats; come on, Lidl, do some research!

Everything else is pretty solid until you get to the yogurt. Cola Bubbles? Really? That is not American in the least. Get the Statue of Liberty off of that abomination!

Lidl American Food Ad

And now we have the baked goods. While I’m unsure about the marshmallow cakes being actually American, I still would happily eat everything on this page. Also, I don’t know who books trips through a grocery store, but that does look like a good deal if you want to go to Vegas for a week. I’m not sure if the flight is included, but if it is, you should snap that deal up! I feel like airfare has been getting really expensive lately.

Lidl American Food Ad

 

At first I didn’t realize what was so American about the orange juice, because orange juice doesn’t seem different at all here, but then I saw that the juice is from Florida. Nothing is more American than shipping things thousands of miles, processing it within an inch of its life to survive the journey, and then pretending it’s somehow just as fresh as if you squeeze the juice yourself from oranges you just picked in your back yard.

The ice-cream is just knock-off Ben and Jerry’s, which you can find here if you’re willing to pay an even higher markup than you do in the US. The Arizona Tea can also be found here, but this looks like a decent price, so drink away!

The Jim Beam offerings seemed normal to me until I saw that one of them is apple-flavored (they also have Black Cherry if you read the text). I am very wary of that. I already don’t like whiskey, because I think it tastes like burnt wood. I’m assuming the apple one tastes like a burnt down apple tree, and I’m not quite into that.

 

That ends our perusal of the Lidl America Sale. Lidl does not pay me for this, though they really should at this point. The Verlobter and I will most likely be picking up things at this sale, because I cannot resist the call of Lady Liberty. Tell me if there is anything in particular you want to know about!

Flags Everywhere #12 – Lidl’s America Sale

Flags Everywhere #12 – Lidl’s America Sale

Several weeks ago, the grocery store Lidl had a sale on American-themed products, and I forgot to post my finds!!! Clearly this lapse must be fixed, so here is what I saw, all adorned with red, white, and blue packaging and pictures of Lady Liberty. How can you get more American than that?

American Frozen Snacks

I’m not sure what “Amerikanos” actually are, they look like chicken tenders to me. I’m also not sure how many Americans would eat chicken tenders with curry dip. But the Statue of Liberty is on it! Must be American. Also you can see some wraps off to the side, include Fajita wraps. I guess they’re more Tex Mex than Mexican, so they can get a soft pass.

American Cookie Brownies

It’s a cookie on top and a brownie on bottom! As an American, I can affirm that we do love putting different foods together. It is also individually packaged, which means you can snack these on the go. Or even bring them to an American elementary school party where they won’t allow anything homemade and not individually sealed because GERMS. Or food allergies, but when I was a kid the concern was about germs.

American Canadian Maple Syrup

What is more American than original Canadian Maple Syrup? Wait…

American Erdnuss Flips

Nothing says “American” like a non-American food with a Statue of Liberty on it. Germans, most Americans have no idea what these are. Americans, these are basically peanut Cheetos.

American Style Snack Box

We buy some of the American foods, this snack box included. Because I didn’t read the box (I’m American, duh), I thought the Chili Cheese Nuggets were actually Chicken Nuggets, so I was confused and disappointed when I ate them. Also, you might excuse the pairing of Mozzarella Sticks with Chili Dip here, because they’re in a pack with other snacks, but you should know that most packs that I’ve seen, at least, of just Mozzarella Sticks come with some form of Chili Dip, either spicy or sweet. I find this very confusing. Where is the Marinara Sauce?!

For those in Germany, the McEnnedy line is actually a regular line at Lidl, so you can find some American Products year round. I think they just came out with some special ones for the sale. But you can always buy chicken nuggets and Hawaiian pizza.

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