So apparently I took so long posting my experience with the Lidl American foods, that they are already back on sale THIS WEEK. I know, I’m psyched. Hopefully this does not totally violate copyright law, but I snagged some screenshots from Lidl’s website (the mobile version was more post friendly, but the regular site shows everything, too) so that we can see full offerings. I kind of want to do a thorough review of some of the products and compare them to the actual American version, so if there is something in particular you want to know more about, drop me a comment!
The mobile version had six screens of stuff, so we’ll go through them one-by-one and I’ll share my observations.
Rosie the Riveter style costumes seem to be the go-to for expressing Americanness, this is not a criticism, I have dressed like that for a costume party before and it’s a solid look. The logistics of the red lipstick and presumably eating a hot dog however…
The wraps were at the last sale, I know that for sure. It looks like they have renamed the “Amerikanos” to “American Style Chicken Strips ” – If my previous post had come out earlier, I would have thought they were reading my blog, but I guess they just are reading my mind. Though again with the curry dip. What American dips their chicken strips in curry dip? Also “Chicken Balls” – I have no further comment on that.
We’ve got some more processed chicken products and the American Snack Box (which contains Chili-Cheese-Nuggets, not Chicken Nuggets for some reason), but the things than excite me the most on this page are the Mac’n’Cheese and the Pulled Pork.
Why is the Mac’n’Cheese hiding behind the American Chili? This guy should be front and center! It looks like it’s mean to be like Easy Mac, and I did not realize how much I missed Easy Mac until now. Give the Mac’n’Cheese it’s own page! That’s what this American really wants!
I do not understand or like the hot dogs in a glass jar. I don’t know why, but it looks gross and strange to me. A warning to fellow Americans in Germany, the hot dog and hamburger buns will probably come uncut, so hopefully you have something better than a butter knife on you at your barbecue. Seriously, why are the buns never pre-cut? I also don’t actually know what is in the American Sandwich or Hamburger Sauces, so I’m doubting the Americanness of the products.
I forgot to pick up bagels the last time, so I’m glad I have another chance. Do you know how hard it is to find bagels in Germany?! We also have a return of the totally American, original Canadian syrup. I’m still confused by that one. Can’t you find American maple syrup in New England or something? Top those American pancakes with something American, you communists!
They sell “gezuckert” or sugared microwave popcorn, which is not like kettle corn, and therefore not American, Lidl. Crazy Germans sprinkling sugar on their popcorn. The bucket should be like kettle corn, though, because it is “caramelized.” Then we have those peanut cheetos that no one in America eats; come on, Lidl, do some research!
Everything else is pretty solid until you get to the yogurt. Cola Bubbles? Really? That is not American in the least. Get the Statue of Liberty off of that abomination!
And now we have the baked goods. While I’m unsure about the marshmallow cakes being actually American, I still would happily eat everything on this page. Also, I don’t know who books trips through a grocery store, but that does look like a good deal if you want to go to Vegas for a week. I’m not sure if the flight is included, but if it is, you should snap that deal up! I feel like airfare has been getting really expensive lately.
At first I didn’t realize what was so American about the orange juice, because orange juice doesn’t seem different at all here, but then I saw that the juice is from Florida. Nothing is more American than shipping things thousands of miles, processing it within an inch of its life to survive the journey, and then pretending it’s somehow just as fresh as if you squeeze the juice yourself from oranges you just picked in your back yard.
The ice-cream is just knock-off Ben and Jerry’s, which you can find here if you’re willing to pay an even higher markup than you do in the US. The Arizona Tea can also be found here, but this looks like a decent price, so drink away!
The Jim Beam offerings seemed normal to me until I saw that one of them is apple-flavored (they also have Black Cherry if you read the text). I am very wary of that. I already don’t like whiskey, because I think it tastes like burnt wood. I’m assuming the apple one tastes like a burnt down apple tree, and I’m not quite into that.
That ends our perusal of the Lidl America Sale. Lidl does not pay me for this, though they really should at this point. The Verlobter and I will most likely be picking up things at this sale, because I cannot resist the call of Lady Liberty. Tell me if there is anything in particular you want to know about!